One of the biggest blessings to maintaining a site that encourages men to a stronger marriage is the site search terms. For those of you who are not familiar, search terms are the real terms or words people are typing into search engines and then provided with website options. In this case, there have been over 1000 searched terms that have brought readers to Manturity.com over the last 30 days. Among those terms, nearly half of them look something similar to these five actual search terms below.
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“How a married man can seduce a single woman”
“What to do if a married man has a crush on you”
“My husband has a crush on another woman”
“How can a married man seduce a single woman”
“Being married talking to a single woman”
With knowledge and information like this, we should all be more encouraged to share our own experiences and tools that have helped our own marriages succeed. I’d like to share my thoughts below on what has worked very well in my marriage and hope you add your thoughts in the comments. Let’s build up married couples to stay focused on their own marriage!
Here are 5 Ways to Keep Your Husband from Flirting With Another Woman
Maintain a Positive Sex Life
Verse: The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. -1 Corinthians 7:3
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. -1 Corinthians 7:4-5
My wife and I struggled early in our marriage because we didn’t realize that men and women have different needs, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy. I love these verses because they lay powerful foundations and clear direction for maintaining a great sex life. My wife and I realized a few years into our marriage that our bodies first belong to God and then they belong to each other. With that knowledge, I don’t want to take the chance at dishonoring either one!
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In my opinion, there are two big takeaways from those verses. The first is that each spouse has authority over the others spouses body. With that said, it’s critical to understand what your spouse needs sexually. As a wife, you might require more physical touch away from the bedroom. As a husband, you might require a lot more touch in the bedroom. There isn’t anything wrong with these differences, but they do need to be discussed and worked out in every marriage. Allowing each spouse to explain what they need and why, without judgment, will drastically change your marriage and your sex life.
Respect Him
Verse: “Wives, respect your husbands; husbands, love your wives.” -Colossians 3:18-19
Respect needs to be understood in two different ways. In my own marriage, it’s important that I understand what respect means to myself, and then it’s important that my wife understands how to respect me. How a man defines respect isn’t something the average woman is going to understand or know exactly what you’re expecting her to do.
A few years into my marriage I was becoming distant because I felt like my wife wouldn’t meet my needs sexually or in regards to respect. On the other hand, she was always asking me to hold her, hug her, kiss her, take her out and so on. We finally came to understand that she was being vocal about her needs and ways that I could love her, but I wasn’t letting her know how to respect me. Once we both understood that and the fact that we had many different needs, things started to change for the good in our marriage.
Guys, I encourage you to make sure you understand your needs when it comes to how your wife can respect you. Wives, I urge you to hear what your husbands say about this topic. Don’t take offense to his needs or requests, just hear him out and start applying. As she respects, so he will be encouraged to love!
Encourage Him
Verse: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
What qualifies as encouragement? In my opinion, it’s the simplest of things. As a husband, I feel like I work hard each day to make sure my family is blessed, supported and encouraged. This means that I not only do things (like going to work) that I have to do, but I also try to do things that will keep my family moving in a positive and Godly direction. I do this because I know it’s the right direction to go and because God will bless it.
I shouldn’t expect anything in return, but I am still a human and I love to hear words of encouragement and appreciation from my wife often. It really can lift me up, and even more, keeps me from needing to hear it from other people.
It was just a couple of weeks ago that my wife came up to me and gave me a card. I asked her what it was for and she just responded with a smile. I opened it up and inside was better than any material gift she could have given me. She briefly noted powerful words of encouragement and appreciation for all that I do for her and my son. This simple card was exactly what I needed to hear, as we were about to embark upon another great year. Her words trump any other words from any other woman. She doesn’t do these type of things all the time, but she does them often enough to keep me encouraged and keep me from needing encouragement from any other woman.
Let Him Share His Heart
Verse: “Let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” -Ephesians 4:25
There have been so many times in my marriage when I want to tell my wife something important to me, but I don’t do it based off fearing her reaction. For newlywed husbands, this may sound a little odd as you have not experienced your wife’s response to some of your odd questions or crazy requests; but those who have been married for a while sometimes build up a fear based off experience.
This fear must be set aside! I believe one of the worst directions a marriage can head in is fear of communication. I want you to think about the reasons why. Why would it be a bad thing for your husband to fear talking to you? Because if he can’t talk to you he’s going to hold it in as long as he can, and then allow it to come out to another woman. A woman that may not know him that well, but is willing to listen.
Wives, I encourage you to take the time to listen to your husband’s heart; whether he needs to share about past struggles, about his sexual desires or about his wild dreams. Become a wife that is willing to listen to your husband’s heart and he’ll come to you first!
Seek Resolution Together and Forgive
Verse: Forgive one another, just as Christ forgave you… -Ephesians 4:32
It was just the other weekend when my wife and I had to plan for our son’s birthday party. Given the nature of the situation, I knew my wife was going to be more stressed than usual. As we got closer to the start of the party, the tone between my wife and I became more negative due to me wanting to do things a little differently than we had planned. People started arriving and we made it through without too many more infractions between each other.
We have probably all experienced a scenario like this, but the real trick is making sure the issue doesn’t last. My wife realized during the party that some of my decisions before it started were actually really good and she made sure that I knew of her appreciation and her apology. Then later that night she, again, apologized for what happened and I forgave her. This small situation could have lasted for days and could even have been mixed into other things that had gone wrong in the past. But it didn’t, it was resolved.
There will be times when both you and your spouse mess things up, but a quick resolution and simply asking for forgiveness will keep the marriage strong. And it will keep your husband from wanting to hold this against you and, even worse, speaking about it to another woman.
In a tough spot in your own marriage, hit me up via the Contact Page.
Have you worked out these things in your own marriage? If not, which one do you need to work on? Even more, which one do you plan to improve on this week? Let me know in the comments below.
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